|He didn't have a chance, this is my living room, he was 15.|
Back home now, I have Lewis which keeps me busy; out of my own head, also have Kenny; Randy is off on the road. I would say I am healing slowly,anxieties are fewer, not so overwhelming. I can function, don't want to but can. That is an improvement.
I feel as though I am fighting a war; the enemy has strongholds, I do not, being ambushed on a constant basis is frightening,waiting for it to happen so much so that I make it happen myself. Which in turn means I am my own enemy. Nothing new about that but damn it; I want it to stop. I had horrifying dreams last night, today I am exhausted, if I hadn't had Lew here I wouldn't have gotten out of bed.