This week has been one of those days all week long. Just little niggling inconveniences that can drive a person to despair. The largest emotional niggle for me is that Kenny has decided to dive back into his bottle, every time he does this I try to figure out
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| Kenny |
what I did wrong. I know better, I know it is he himself that is responsible. He has been given many opportunities to get help and has walked away from every one. That being said I am his mother; I just hate seeing him in pain, as any mother would. I am a recovering myself, I know that it takes commitment to yourself. He was in jail, once again, he made plans, set goals, upon release made no attempt to follow through. If he could just figure out that it is actually easier to live your life legitimately; he might succeed one of these times. I'm not giving up on him, I am just tired.
The other major niggle was the fact that my dryer went ca-puts. Not a big deal you might say, I am a bit obsessive when it comes to the laundry, comes from having 5 kids and not many clothes I suppose. I was all in a dither about what I would do. Then it occurred to me, for heaven sake it is summer. I ran down to the store and for $5.62, I have a clothesline, (already had pins ). Yes it is a little more work, but I have always enjoyed hanging clothes. It started when I was just tiny, mom used to put me in a harness and tie me to the pole while she hung the clothes. Don't go thinking she was mean, I made it to adulthood alive under her watch, I was always into everything, climbing up something or going somewhere. When we moved onto our own property when I was about 6,7, years old, the first thing mom asked for was a clothes line, (she had a washer and dryer). I spent anytime I could hanging clothes with her and then my own. I did this as my children grew up too, there are many memories there. It has only been in recent years that I have forfeited this tradition, I am not sure why I did. The dryer breaking is still a pain, it will have to be fixed or replaced and it is one more priority before I can replace my antique computer, I will live through it and enjoy the cloths line in the meantime . Today as I was hanging clothes Lewis was there playing with the pins and handing them to me if I asked. What could be better than that.
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| Last few clothes of the day. |
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| Lewis |
The good memories are starting to out-weigh the bad. I have terrible memories that I try to cope with, very horrifying and traumatizing, thanks to some of you out there I am learning to deal with these and am better able to enjoy the new ones that are being built. I thank you so much and I love you for it.
