Anxiety burning through my veins; impossible to breath; muscles defined by pain; brain held down only by the bones of my skull. No pills.... I refuse. Breathing deeply, slowly, regaining control. A jolt and here I am once more. Hands shake, palms are moist with sweat, fear running rampant. Overtaking my emotions, fear, fear, no end in sight. Pain, I'm lost in the spiral. Tears splashing on my arm, to pool on the sheet, my only witness. Where is this coming from? Let me go, I have had peace. The peace has been destroyed, don't know if I can mend it again. I swore I would never return to the swirling world of darkness. Oblivion. Can't see, can't breath, trembling so hard, grasping at every tiny thread of sanity I can find. Still lost.