Wednesday, July 21, 2010

living my life, trying to be the best I can be. Growing learning putting the puzzle together. Finding little to guide me through the abyss. Frightened I'll make a wrong decision, reluctant to change if I have. My brain doesn't always connect, I think there is no one that knows this. I hide behind the logic I search to locate. Don't seem to be able to follow through on much that I attempt. I don't know why, I presume it is fear of one kind or another. Always thinking I'm inferior to the average. Always feeling alone, not finding the answers to the many questions I have. I am so much better off than many people stumbling through this life. I have the love and respect of many, I truly love my family. They all seem to accept me for who I am with the frailties of the woman I am.
My oldest daughter is in so much pain, I can do nothing to relieve her of the burden she carries. Trying to support her in any way I can, sadden to see the joy in life slowly drain from her eyes and her smile. She has a heart like no one else I know.
I am insane, and someday that will be exposed to the world to see. No one cares how insane each of us are. Like myself consumed by their own insanity. I do believe I am more insane than most ...or is that my vanity speaking.

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