Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Kenny: Narcissim

The day begins well, up and at em early. Kenny called, wants money to get his prescriptions filled, the answer is no. He doesn't like it very much,but he takes it. Randy  has physical therapy this morning, we go from their to my other sons home, to visit him, his girl and our grand-kids, then to our daughters place. Grandma needed a baby fix.  From there we went home, I had several messages waiting for me, Kenny does not and will not have my cell phone number; he called again and asks that I at least give him a ride to the pharmacy, doesn't call again for a few hours, then calls and wants his brothers #, calls me back getting angrier and angrier, he is not getting his way.  Now he has concluded that we are all against him.

I relate this only as a way to show his illness; I was empathetic yesterday; today is take advantage day. Push as hard as he can, then break and cry or scream and yell and punch things or people.

  Narcissism personality disorder at its' worst.  Is it any wonder that his sibs do not want him in their lives. He has burned a lot of bridges.

Attempting to help people in general understand a mental illness is a difficult task,  with his close family it is impossible.  They have all been so hurt by his behaviors, don't want it around their children and must protect themselves from him emotionally and physically; as must I.

Let's face it people; we don't like to look at anything that is not "normal", I am as guilty of this as the next. If a person has a physical disability, we pretend not to see, or stare and wonder what happened and who's fault it was. The reality is we are all just people that need to be loved.

I have suffered most of my life from mental and emotional disorders, one being physical, the other taught and learned. I found my self gravitating to the underdogs, people that no one would take the time to know. Sometimes to the detriment of myself and my family; I always thought I was doing right. As it turns out I was not. Not until I put the sickest of these people to the side did I start to heal. Neither do I hide from them, I simply have boundaries now.

My oldest daughter taught me how to recognize and enforce my boundaries, I am forever grateful to her for that.   

I'll get better at this, I am not a writer you see!

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