Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Things Happen


Last month on the 4th of December, my son's house burned due to bad wiring, the devastation was amazing. I am thankful everyone got out safely. They along with my daughter and their roommate Dan were displaced. To express the emotions we all went through I will have to explain further; My son Tim, has 3 children 11,7, and 5 years old. His girlfriend Brittany was 7 months pregnant. The 3 children were not at home at the time, it was a week end night and they were all at various relative's homes.
The fire started in the attic next to the 11 year olds room, his room was completely gone, melted tvs and a bed of ashes was all that was left, save a few of his Hot Wheel cars. When I went to the house and saw what was left I went to my knees in fear and gratitude. It has taken them a month and the birth of a baby to start to recover, they have found a new home and are moving in as I write this.
It will take some time for them to make a full recovery, but they have their entire family including their pets and realized how blessed they are. So do I.


FROM NOTES ON FACEBOOK:

Family:The Reality

by Jan Neel on Tuesday, December 7, 2010 at 4:14pm
I started having my children at 16 years old. Believe me I caught a lot of flack for this. I wouldn't recommend it to any one; and at the same time I wouldn't have had it any other way. I'm 53 now, my children are grown I have nearly 12 grand children ranging in age from 16 to expected in January. It has been a tough go, and I wasn't always the best of moms, but my kids always knew I loved them no matter what poor choice I was making. Now in their adult lives, I cringe at some of the choices they have made, they still know I love them. I know with out  a doubt that they love me as well. I have recently been doing a lot of growing changing and adjusting my thought processes.This due in part because of the time I have been allowed to spend with my own mother. I never truly appreciated her life before, listening to her life story has taught me so much about what is important and what isn't. She values her sisters and her family time with them before they died, the life they had together with her parents and all the cousins. I hadn't realized how much it all meant .
We recently had a tragedy in our family,  a child born with severe brain damage, ending up with a diagnosis of  CP, it has been a horrific time. My oldest daughter spent much time alone in this battle, finally coming to recognize she needed help. Step one in the lesson for me of showing, not just speaking love.
This last week-end my sons home caught fire and was destroyed. He has three children who thankfully were not home at the time. They did not have to watch as their home disappeared before their eyes. My (second) daughter was also living there at the time and a life long family friend was their roommate. 
Nothing had prepared me for what I would see when I went to help them try and salvage a few things. Tyas the 11 yr old had his bedroom upstairs next to where the fire started in the attic. Everything was destroyed, save a few hotwheel cars. Seeing his room and his bed I immediately broke down, sucking it up so I could be there for his parents and my daughter. It was admittedly one of the hardest things I have had to look at in my life.
Realizing how lucky and blessed we were that no one was hurt and all that was lost was material things, how close to being an insurmountable tragedy this was I can not express enough. There is a lot of loss even in those material things. My son did projects with his kids as did my daughter-in-law. Building furniture and decorating rooms together. Living life, willingly sharing their chldren with those that loved them, was all a part of that.
It is so hard right now to put into words how I feel, I have had a lot of close calls and near losses and even some losses of friends and family in my life, nothing could have ever prepared me for how I would feel today. I love my family and will forever try to show them that not just tell them. How I say? Start by being there. I will never be to busy for the ones I love again. I will always listen, support and even express concern about choices in a more appropriate way. This will take practice, it is my goal for my life and the lives of those I love.  
My son hasn't lost everything, he still has his family and many friends who have rallied to help and support; but it is a huge loss and will take time to heal for the entirety of his family.   

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