Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Thoughts I'm having tonight.

I've come a long way, A ray of light is near. Run, get away no one should see me, if the light comes in I will be lost. Here in the dark you can hear me but only if I speak. Quiet , I will be quiet.

I know I said I will be positive, I am having difficulty with that today. Things in my brain are sideways and upside down. I feel myself curling into a ball of fear and pain. Clenching every muscle. Talked to mama today it was much the same, she hurts and misses her family, looks forward to her shopping trips like a kid for the zoo. I am sad for her.

The tears they still wont come, my head is swimming with the tears of so much hurt. The wound was inflicted yesterday but the pain is here to stay. The bruises no one saw, the words no one heard. I'm drowning in my cave.

Alone, fearful, there is a weight of enemies, go away, go away. Ugly and dark my dreams of you who has been dead for 20 years.


The storm is still here.

8 comments:

  1. Cryyyyyyyyy...let it come....just cry....As always...XOXOXO

    ReplyDelete
  2. Louise,
    Release those feelings set them free cry it out if yo must, kick scream, shout at the top of your lungs.
    You are being heard! You are safe now. Let go. You are safe sweetie.
    Sending you healing light and Blessings
    Jessica

    ReplyDelete
  3. Please forgive me Jan I was talk abut Louise poem with bongo while I was writing to you. Oh God I am so sorry. I feel so bad.
    xoxo
    Jessica

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sometimes there is nothing to say that will soothe the heart. Just know Jan, that we are here <3<3<3

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thank you, sincerity is hard to come by, I appreciate the support. I have found sincerity here thank you all so much,<3<3<3

    ReplyDelete
  6. I've been to that place, where it's so painful that the reserve of tears bursting on the sides of your brain just won't come. It's ok to cry, let it out! I will pray that God surrounds you, covers you and inundates you with the realization of His love and unending and unconditional acceptace towards you as His beloved child. ::hugs::

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm praying too, dear Jan. As my mom always said, "This too shall pass."

    ReplyDelete