Monday, May 23, 2011
So much to say, yet the words elude me.
I take pictures of landscapes as they appear at that moment, I go back to the same place a week or two later, it seems so different. The trees have leaves and the grass is green, the water is full of new life, the cycle continues. I am always amazed and feel like a child as I observe the birds building their nests and the squirrels collecting food for their little ones. "Oh, look there is a baby duck and it's mama." I don't have to have any children around to point these things out too, they are just there to see.
I spend time photographing family members, to the point that they call me the popparatzi, I carry my camera with me at all times and capture some of the best shots of the grandkids, a few of their parents, not a lot of the parents though. I get yelled at if I post them, by all but one, because they don't "look", good that day. And they say I'm crazy...
The result for me of all the picture taking is that I look at the world with different eyes, always looking for the beauty in a subject, rather than seeing the ugliness. I can see despair of a home once lived in proudly, now abandoned to foreclosure. The roses once pruned and vibrant now pale and overgrown. The sadness is soon dissipated by the the new life I see under the bushes, as a baby raccoon pokes his nose out, curious at whats going on, who is in his yard. Brings a smile to my face as he chatters telling me to go away. I'll leave him be.
The clouds in the sky are an ever present, it seems, beauty of nature that I can't seem to resist. Looking up recognizing the power of the wind, the colors of the sky, rainbows are hard to photograph for me as I get so awed I forget to take the picture.
You see, I hurt a lot of the time, emotionally, and physically, I don't take drugs, I don't drink. I am not much for crowds or groups as a general rule. Believe it or not I am a private soul and shy.
As I have grown older I have chosen to spend my time loving the people I don't have to convince to love me, that will not hurt me,I have protected myself from the judgmental, the rest of my time is spent enjoying the world as I see it through my camera.